O-Ringen / Academy and facing with a memory; JWOC 2012

It all started with a speed up Copenhagen tour. (All city in 5 hours. A boat tour included.) 

O-Ringen; It's the best place an orienteer can live, to me. Days before its finish, we were hoping that, there would be some kind of mix up with the results and they would organize the whole competition from the beginning (no offense. :) ). Unfortunately(!), everything were perfect, as always.

O-Ringen Academy; Best people that you can spend a wonderful orienteering week together. Academy is like the best team ever, even though you have just met with most of the people. It's a small step (not just one step, but it's just the way that saying goes..) for you, but a big one for developing the country you're willing to. O-Ringen is alone a life changing event, for an orienteer; especially who's coming from a small country in sense of orienteering, but combined with Academy experience, it's probably a dream come true for anyone.

Thank you so much to you all, for the unbelievable 10 days. :)

I'm not going into the details of what happened in Academy, it's not a big secret, but I like to keep somethings to myself. :P (Just kidding, it's a little long story to mention every detail in a blog. And every detail is important, so it's not possible to pick up the important ones.)

What about O-Ringen itself?

You should sometimes listen to your instincts. Especially if there's someone else, who also tells you to think about it one more time. My instincts were screaming crazily that, D21L was such a bad idea, without training and not a single map in my hand for months. But I some how manage to make myself believe that, I can manage a 8,5 course, over 4 days. My points were; 

1- I've already finished a L course in O-Ringen (D20L 2012), and it was 2 years ago, I'm so much better than that now. (I'm not, not without proper training.)

2- There're 2 days of rest after the second day. (That's not even something you can use to convince yourself to such craziness, if you're clever enough.)

What happened is; I've quieted the course on second day, and change my category to a lot more easier one (Open 5) for the last two stages. I can't say that the only reason behind this decision was that, I was too tired, or not thinking that capable of doing it. I was already prepared to be running 3 hours courses. Being tired is not even an excuse, if you're ready for that. What I wasn't expecting was the wounds on my ankles, after first stage. (Do not even consider using athletic taping, without under-wrap. Don't do it at all, you'll better of without it.) I was too tired of the pain, when I arrived at the 6th control, I decided to cut the course a little, then I couldn't found any meaning in going on, and decided to quit. End of the story. I regret somehow, but even now I know that, I wouldn't be able to continue. It was hurting to much to even let me think about the map for a brief second.

After that it was easier to move to a different category, I wouldn't be qualified for overall anyways, so I choose a lot more simpler one. Which was kind of fun actually. Even though it was a lot more easier technically, and also a lot less demanding physically, I managed to make some quite funny mistake. I know no limits, when it comes to dreaming throughout the course.

I've my lesson taken;

1- It's ok to not to choose the hardest option you can take.

2- The stuff that you're thinking would be too easy, may actually not be.

3- Stop summarizing the course all along the race, you got plenty of time for that, after the race. (It's the reason for my mistakes almost 99% of the time.) 

What about JWOC 2012?

It's been over 2 years, since I've been in JWOC. Even though it's a long time, every time I think about it, my motivation drops, I feel like everything is falling apart, my heart is almost in pieces, and I'm feeling like I won't be able to breath once more. Some may think that I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. I'm keeping all of my maps in files. I've been avoiding that part of the file for 2 years. I really do regret all of those races. It was a terrible part of my life. I don't know why it happened, or how, and with all of these experiences in hand, I still can't see how could I change it, when I just felt that it wasn't write. The last part was the part that pushed me to open up the file once more, check mistakes, see what went wrong, try to diagnose it. And I did it today. I've opened up the file once more, found split times from internet, checked the courses, checked my own route choices, tried to remember what went wrong, how did it felt like, what I was thinking. Most of my mistakes, I can still remember them, I can still see them in front of my eyes. I still don't have an answer for all that questions, but at least now I can actually visit them, to correct, to make sure they won't happen again, as I should do years ago.

A "sound" and everything starts all over again..

If you're a runner for some time, it's not that hard to tell, if the injury just knocked you down to the ground, is serious enough to make you tie in a bed for the following days -or maybe weeks-, or if it's something that would disappear in few minutes, after you get over with the shock of the moment.

Yesterday, in training, after I fell down, with a cracking sound from my ankle, I knew that it wasn't that kind of a pain, that would go away in minutes, since for the first time I wasn't able to explain what to do to my teammate, because of the tears that were running from my eyes to ears. Even now, I'm not exactly sure if I was crying out of pain or anger of such a stupid ignorance.

I was injured for over a month, from the same ankle, and poetically, with almost the same angle. And I knew that, running without a ankle bracelet is a risk that's not worth taking. But like every small silly girl, I did it anyway. Actually it was not just a one time thing, but I was running out of a bracelet for 1.5 weeks 'till then. I was a little cautious in a way, at least I was watching my steps, 'till I felt like I was ready to run without looking at the ground again, that's yesterday.

For the first time in months, I was trying to deal another performance related problem, other than my ankle. My ankle should have felt a bit jealous, because just at the point of the course, where I was feeling like the training is over, it was really over, for good. After that point, It was something like a off-road biathlon, including a 8.5 km trail run and a 2.5 km downhill mountain biking, with a single leg.

Under normal circumstances, I'm kind of a athlete that would appreciate a little more rest, but definitely it's the worst possible time for this kind of a rest. But a visit to the physician this morning, revealed the hard fact, no one is asking me. It's not a volunteered rest, but an obligatory one, once again. And this time, I'm under strong surveillance, since it's the second time in 2.5 months.

For now, and probably for the coming 2 weeks, I will be hoping to get better until O-Ringen, so that I can maybe jog or even walk along the courses, instead of just standing at the finish line and cheering for my teammates; and dreaming about the idea of having a proper training, without the idea of injury in my head; while my ankle wonders over a pillow.

So it's almost the same story I had 2.5 months ago, with just a small difference, this time I'm really tight on time.

A new season and internship; it's way more complicated than it sounds

Let me first tell you this; I have the best internship I can possibly find in Turkey. That's a good news for my academic career, and let me add one more thing; I'm pretty happy about this opportunity. Also, I'm more ambitious to keep my training going then ever, I mean, I have my dreams (aims maybe?) in head, and I'm reluctant to make them happen. And that's where things get a little bit complicated.

I've been working for 1.5 weeks for now, and my training program is already a mass. I'm not able to find the balance between internship and training. I'm leaving home so early that, I can barely even have a breakfast, and coming so tired, that sometimes I'm not able to get myself off the couch, and fall asleep. But things have to change. It cannot go on like that, obviously.

The first solution that came to my head is, to wake up a bit earlier -like 1 hour earlier- have my training done before leaving for internship, with a rested body, and also a willing mind. First things first. Will try this for the following 2 weeks. I hope that it will work, otherwise, I have to find another way around.


Bonus Content :)

I've just finished reading a book; Life Without Limits, by Chrissie Wellington. It's really an inspirational one. I can heart-fully recommend it to anyone that has doubts about whether they can reach to where they dream. It's also one of the most honest biographies that I've ever red. She's all out there, with all the ups and downs of both an athletic and an academic one, in separate time frames.

I'm taking the book with me wherever I go, first reason is; It keeps reminding me that, anything is possible, if I'm ready and willing to work for it; and another reason; it's a present from someone that's really special for me, and keeps taking my pieces together and get me going every time I fall. Everybody needs that someone in their lives.

Summary Style Update

I've just realized that, I haven't been writing anything since November, while so much things were going on with my life. I won't be writing everything in detail, but I will made a list of important things that have happened since then (as far as I can remember.) And from now on, I will try to be more consistent with my blog, hopefully.

• First medal at elite class (2nd National Race of the year. Didn't expect it, since it was a sprint)
• National Team Selection Physical Test (Which I did pretty well)
• National Team Camp (Which I ruined completely)
• World Cup (Organization Team)
• Antalya O-Days (Another sprint medal ??)
• Hashimoto Diagnosis (I've been having treatment since)
• Decision to work with a professional for nutrition. (Especially weight control to be honest)
• Cappadocia O-Cup (I really don't have any opinions about it, since I can't remember it that well.)
• Ankle Sprain (No running training since. :/ )
• METU Trail Run (Organization)
• Turkey Champs. (I didn't started on 1st day, I've walked the whole course on second day)

I'm swimming and making some strength training since the injury. And will continue to do that until it's recovered enough to let me run. My only hope for now is to be able to get my ankle back 'till the Turkish Univ. Champs (which is 17 days ahead). Fingers crossed..

Injury, a lovely organization, a seminar that changed my mindset, a fun run, a race that made me down, up and all the way down again..

Day 170

Ok. It's probably time to write a bit about what happened, before i start to forgot about all of them.. :)

Let's start with the upsetting part; while everything was going in the way i planned (for a week or so.. :/) a little too much ambition brought me in the middle of the road. I had done a 15k and and an interval training, then some strength exercises, and my groin muscle decided that enough is enough. Which resulted in an groin strain (1st degree, nothing too serious but enough to back me of from training for almost 1.5 week). I was pushed to not to race in Salomon X Runs. Which means I watched the race from the sidelines.. :( The decision was for me to not to race in Ist5days also. (Which is like 4-5 days ahead) But of course I wasn't that much resistant. I've walked for 3 days, run-walk for WRE, and jogged on a super sprint. :) It was fine, other then the mess that my decision caused between me and my trainer. He wasn't really happy with my decision to go out on the course. But we figured it out.

More about Ist5days.. :)

It was our 10th year. So everything was pretty charming. Organization was almost flawless. When everything work out the way you planned, it's kind of fun to organize a race. :)
As of race; all the courses was quite fun for me. Since I wasn't fully able to run, I'm not really in the position to talk about success or failure, but I know that at least being able to see the courses before the season actually starts, was the right think to do, apart of the risk of having a bigger injury. :/
Also thanks to Emine Sezgünsay, the race was even more an educational experience for me. Especially in terms of mental.

After a race like Ist5days, any runner would feel like working harder then ever. :) But I wasn't allowed to, because of the longer recovery time with my groin strain. :( So I did a pretty easy week, almost without any hard training. But the thing that makes this week amazing is the seminar.

During Ist5days, Elif Abla told me that, they're looking for a narrator for the seminar of Eve Jurenikova. I'm not sure if anyone knows that but I'm a really big follower of her. I was always amazed with her capability of being so involved in everything and being also successful. So at the end, it was an opportunity for me that I wouldn't miss in life.

On Saturday morning, we went to the Ankara county race as a team. It wasn't a particularly good one for me, but it wasn't that bad either. But I had other concerns. :) After the race, we left the arena and go to the place, where the seminer would be held. After that moment everything was like a dream for me. 4-5 hours of seminar with full of information with Eve Jurenikova, a dinner with Eva, Emine Abla and Alen Abi, and some fun afterwards. :) (I won't share the part where we got lost, with a google map in our hands.. :) )

There was 2 week time until the race. I was fully recovered from the injury, and pretty eager to train after the seminar. :) Now when I look back, I can clearly see that I could have train harder that week. But the point that, I was afraid to get injured again. So maybe it was the right thing to do. In the weekend, I went to Istanbul for Istanbul Marathon. But I didn't do the marathon of course, just a 10k. :) We ran all the race with Barış Abi. It was quite fun actually. Next year, we may do the 15k together. :)

Then an easy last week prior to the race. No hard training. Just recovery.

1st race of the year. I was a bit nervous for all the week. Every thing that came into my mind was about me making failures. And not to anyone's surprise, it turned out that way, the first day. I did a mistake almost every control point. I was distracted the whole time. You can see my route above.

1. Day

Second day, I've started the course with only thinking to do my best, but no expectations what so ever. It turned out pretty well until the 13th control. I was fluent most of the time. Running well, getting the control points without any mistakes. But at the 12th control point, I distracted a bit, choose the wrong way up the hill, saw a open area, didn't checked out because of too much unnecessary self confidence, and there was the mistake. About 10 minutes. I'm not sure if anyone can understand the frustration that surrounded me at that moment. You can see that map above also.

2. Day

Lucky for me that, I have lovely teammates. :) Nobody bothered me about the mistake after the race. Now, I'm fully recovered from the race as physical, but not mentally yet. I'm still making the same mistake in my dreams every night. But I'm eager to train more, both physically and in terms of orienteering. I've been training pretty well for now, hoping to go on like that. :)

I will write down how many days left until WOC 2016 at the end of the post starting from this one. :) I don't know why, but thinking that gives me some kind of passion to work harder. 

995 Days Left

Zombies, Run!

If you haven't tried "Zombies, Run!" by 'Six to Start' yet, and if you're a runner who loves action, it's a must try. Because even I loved it as a runner, who does not love action. :) Here you can find the web page of the game. And you can download it via Google Play or App Store.

Now few tips for the game (also Spoiler Alert!);

1. Safety first; try to avoid areas with traffic. Since you will have music and speech on your ears, it may be dangerous. Also you may need to speed up at some points of the game.
2. Don't be afraid. :) It's not easy. From the moment it began, I've started to check my back. And I was actually freaking out when a child appeared in front of me. :) 
3. If you're not used to run with a phone, like me, choose a short that won't fall off. You may end up without a short after a burst of Zombie Attack!
4. Don't be too sad because you got caught by a Zombie! It's not real, come on. :)
5. Choose an easy run, not a quality or interval training. Because you may end up running in a wrong pace or sprinting during the rests. :/
6. If you've made the mistake of choosing a quality training, a must-done-properly-long-run in my case, do not let your trainers or teammates find out. ;)
7. Have fun!! 

Promises..

Day 30

Ok, let me say something, and I'll be totally honest, I've never been too good at being consistent about something. And it's the same case with my training, eating, etc. right now. And I've already broke so much promises that, even I've lost the count of them.

Since last time I've write, I've run a Mudrace (3rd place overall, not bad I suppose), RunIstanbul (22nd ​place, but my best 5k and 7k ever), and a trail race (Geyik Koşusu) (4th place overall). Those were all great experiences, fun races, and not so bad results. In each of them I did what I need to do and also gave my best. 

Then there's the team performance tests. Which looks not too good on a paper, but felt good to me while I was so out of my training schedule. I've run a 2740 by GPS, 2670 by our a little faulty track, Cooper Test, a 1:27 (which means it's the fastest I've ever been able to run) 400m, and a 5000m in 23:47, which is just a little slower then my first 5k in RunIstanbul this year.

So, by looking the results and how much fun I'm having, one may conclude that I'm crazy to be happy. If somebody would told me that just a 2-3 months ago, I would think like that too. But today, I'm in a completely different mind set. My "not bad" race and test times are not enough to make me happy, as long as I know that I'm not giving my best shot into my training. I fully lack any kind of discipline. I'm skipping trainings, to sleep; eating pretty bad for a couple of weeks, have my punishment as kgs; whining about everything, honestly everything..

Yesterday, I've decided to given an end to this, and talk to our team trainer about it. I explained every single stuff in my mind to him in a even more honest manner then this writing. He had his suggestions, which I really appreciate, but I really don't have any faith in myself for keeping them. I will try my best, but the problem is, the best that I have right now, is not useful. 

I'm hoping that things will change for me soon, I know that they won't get easier and I'm also not hoping for them to get easier, my hope is that may be they might get better. Better is better then easier, always. And I need that better soon enough that, it won't be too late to be prepared for the 1. stage of Turkey Championships 6 weeks from now.